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Anger... forever!

 by rsm 12th Dec. 2011

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On everyday failure to say something,

the boiling sprinkles of reflections

touch me on the self-inflicted wounds...

and remind me of my forgotten-lost soul--

trapped in congestions of expression-less contemplations and

I recall what John Updike said, “For there is no doubt that I have lots of words inside me; but at moments, like rush-hour traffic at the mouth of a tunnel, they jam.”

Why for the moment, then I stop, take a step back and breath deeply?

and not flood my anguish in the channels of metabolic momentum,

Why for that moment, I revert back to my submissive honesty and arrogant sincerity?

and not write down fullest disclosure of my parochial self, selflessly...

Sometimes, I need to think through time with my companions;

...books, nature and my soul-mates.

but then my mother comes and asks loudly,

why you have left me, not to talk everyday, going farther everyday...

How I have become, what I have never been,

as I read yesterday, Focault was saying: “...to become someone else that you
were not in beginning. The game is worthwhile insofar as we do not know what will be
the end.”

Quotations have become my friends and

my friends transformed into rational equations of absolute rules...

Beyond quotations and friends lays

...my unconscious slumbers refusing to respond to pragmatic sounds.

I do not know, is it good, bad or ugly,

but I do not care to rescue myself from that shrinking caves so early...

However harsh may be the agony of thinking alone,

I need to take this BET before I utter good buy from this non-sense world smoothly.

Then comes Thoreau who says: “ If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.”

Though I do not follow his line uttered, I admire when he says, “Why, let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.”

I am sure I do not hear different drummer,

but I am not sure how far I can go alone, lonely to listen to the music of life....

-------------------incomplete……………………